From Snake to Some Sort of Mammal
by MysticalJello
Summary: Draco dies but then is reborn as a Hufflepuff girl an then Ron falls in love with him but Neville does too of course cuz he/she's awesome so I dunno it's confusing. CLICK!
1. Chapter 1

If you're reading this it means you have found my magical journal filled with the secret and totally amazing thoughts and events of a 16 yr old boy/girl. You weren't meant to read this but I'm probably dead again anyways and Weasley smells like potatoes so it's probably better that way. Go on- read. Fill your mind with the story of how a totally hot and talented Slytherin turned into a girl with a lame-o rep. Pity me, I don't blame you.

Sept. 24-

_Dear Diary,_

_I just caught a glimpse of myself in the train window and I must say, I'm even hotter this year than last year though that's totally not a surprise. I mean, I even have an angsty look in my eyes cuz now I have a tragic mission and conflicted morals, which makes the girls go CRAZY you know._

_I'm almost at Hogwarts and this year's gunna be the best ever cuz you know I'm going to win the dark lord's favor AND kick ass at gobstones._

A hansom boy with white blonde hair crept out of Borgin and Burkes, looking rather suspicious as he held a small package under his cloak. Sliding into an alleyway next to the three broomsticks he unwrapped the package and eyed its contents warily.

A necklace with one large stone sat on a soft silk pillow. The stone was beautiful, smooth and untarnished except for one small fleck of dust on it's bottom edge. The boy sighed and brushed the spot away lightly.

Almost instantaneously his face contorted into a look of horror. He uttered a strangled cry and managed to slick back his hair one last time before flying into the air possessed and then slamming into the stone floor.

Draco Malfoy was dead.

Sapphire Willow McCollins wasn't an interesting person at all before Draco turned into her (oops ruined it sorry, 1 min). She was going into her 5th year at Hogwarts' school of Witchcraft and Wizardry with average talent and looks and barely any friends. I would spin it so she seems really tragic and sob story but she had a pretty cushy life so she can't even really complain. Oh, except that she dies.

It was nearing the holidays when Sapphire was killed, and the last memory she had was of the snow.

It was hogsmead weekend and Sapphire was admiring various magical items in stalls in the shiftier area of hogsmead, it exists. All of the items were probably ripoffs but she was of average intelligence and didn't catch on.

She bought some lip balm that promised to make her beautiful and applied a lot of it to her lips.

Of course, nothing happened but she thought it was just because it wasn't enough so she put some on her eyelids and forehead too ( I lied she's of lower than average intelligence).

Then something did happen.

Sapphire's eyes grew wide and her breath got quicker as the magic took it's effect. She heard a buzzing noise that got louder and louder and things started spinning, she didn't feel good. She heard a cry in the distance and made a whimpering noise herself as she lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco opened his eyes moments later. He was laying on a long platform that stretched into white mist. He saw a rather average looking girl standing with an old wizard in the distance.

He stood up but had only taken a couple steps before the girl disappeared into the mist. She probably went into the great beyond or something touching like that, but Draco didn't care about that at all.

What he did care about was the old wizard. Draco recognized him as soon as he turned around, it was Albus Dumbledore, the very man he was trying to kill before his tragic demise.

"Wait!" Draco yelled. "I actually managed to take you out?"

"No, Draco." Dumbeldoor sighed, "As I knew you wouldn't. You did however, manage to kill yourself"

"I'm dead?"

"Yes."

"And what the hell are you doing here?"

Dumbeldore only smiled a knowing smile that made Draco feel pretty annoyed.

"Look into my twinkling eyes" He said.

And then Draco forgot that there was some sort of hole in the plot and he decided to figure out how not to be dead instead.

"Where did that girl go?"

"Off to wherever she must go, to the beyond. Myself, I hope it has plenty of lemon drops."

"I don't want to go. This year was going to be sweet. I was going to ace potions and kick butt at quiddich and kill- erm"

"Unfortunately, your body has been injured far too much for you to use it anymore, you cannot return."

"Bloody hell, that's such a waste"

"Right. Well there may be something I can do."

"What?"

"Oh yes, I think it will work quite well. She did want to move on after all, but her body is still intact."

"Wait, what are you-"

"See you on the other side, my dear boy. Erm I mean my dear- child. Heehee."

With one last twinkle of Dumledore's eyes, the world started spinning and Draco lost consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

Draco awoke to the sound of snoring. There was an elderly woman in the bed across from his sleeping, and a little girl with her head laying on the foot of his bed, both of them were making a racket.

Draco sneered and kicked the girl in the head.

"Hey, girl, why the bloody hell am I alive?"

The girl startled awake and greeted him with a ridiculously cheesy smile.

"Sapphire! You're awake! They told me you might not make it, I was really really scared."

Wait.

He didn't.

Draco examined one freshly manicured hand. The slender fingers were similar to his own, but he never would have chosen coral pink polish.

"That bloody old man made me a woman! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!." Draco yelled, sitting upright only to fall back onto his pillow in a dizzy shock.

The little girl looked nervous at this, but reached up and held Draco's hand.

"Now Sapphire, I know it must have been a shock that that old man was selling fake goods, but the wizards here at St. Mungos have managed to put you back to normal. Except, your looks have altered drastically. I'm sorry, you will probably never look yourself again."

"Wait, you mean I'm stuck as a girl with a disfigured face? Holy Slytherein's heir! This is a catastrophe!"

Draco sprung up and lunged for the bathroom mirror. And gasped.

He was gorgeous.

A girl with long wavy raven black hair and light lavender eyes peered back at him. He had full pink lips and a perfect hourglass figure under his hospital robes.

"The lip gloss did work" the girl whispered "although only if you use a near deadly dose apparently."

And so Draco was reborn as Sapphire Willow Melody McCollins.


	4. Chapter 4

Nov. 12

Dear Diary,

I stood staring at myself in the mirror for more than an hour today, almost 15 minutes longer than I normally do.

I just couldn't recover from the shock. I mean, I still look gorgeous, but my body is all wrong. So wrong.

Diary, I know this will come as a shock to you, but I might as well break it to you now.

…

I've turned into a woman.

I know. I KNOW! Why me? It's such a waste of such a hot body, of such pure blood! And it's all because of my bloody OCD. I brushed DUST off of a CURSED NECKLACE.

I've decided not to tell this girl's family that I'm not their daughter. I'll pretend to have insomnia, or dementia, or whatever it's called that muggles get. You know, it's kind of like a memory charm.

I've also decided, after an hour's meditation in front of the mirror, that there might be some good points in all of this-

#1- At least I'm still hot. And alive.

#2- No more family outings with aunt Bellatrix and no more TATTOO THAT MAKES ME OBEY A PSYCHOPATH.

Which brings me, finally, to #3- I don't have to kill Albus Dumbledore.

Yes, I was certain I'd be able to do it, and I would have gained so much respect from my father and a certain psychotic dark lord.

But cummon, did you not see his twinkly eyes in that last sequence? Killing him is like killing an infuriatingly wise and powerful bunny rabbit.

I go back to school tomorrow morning. I'll fake memory loss to this pitiful family and get some gossip on this girl before then.

I don't even know what house she's in.

Nov. 13-

Dear Diary,

THIS BODY IS IN HUFFLEPUFF. NO. NONONONO.

How is this possible? This house is full of nothing but sickeningly friendly do-gooders who SHOW THEIR EMOTIONS.

I refuse. The only time I would even consider breaking my icy façade is with moaning myrtle.

Some changes will have to be made. If not to where I live, then to the entirety of this bloody house.

AND ANOTHER THING. There WILL be changes to this girl's wardrobe. Her stupid sister brought in some of her clothing for me a second ago, and it looks like it belongs to a 4 year old.

Really? A knit sweater with a Badger on it? Am I a WEASLEY now?

And these yellow leggings keep riding up on me. It's all very uncomfortable.

Tomorrow's going to be miserable.

I haven't been this nervous since Granger's fist was flying at my nose.

…I miss my nose.


	5. Chapter 5

It was 8:00 in the morning and breakfast was in full swing in the Great Hall. Students of every house crammed toast and juices into their mouth, united by the ravaging hunger faced by all kids between the ages of 11 and 17.

But as Draco Malfoy entered the hall, everyone went silent.

Utensils were slowly lowered, or simply dropped in shock. Some showed puffed out cheeks as pancakes and pumpkin juice went un-swallowed.

Heads tilted in confusion. Who was this gorgeous girl, and how could they have never noticed her before?

And what the hell was she wearing?

Nov. 14-

_My dearest Diary,_

_I knew I never should have let that vile woman at that boutique help me choose my new clothing._

_I just needed something edgier in my wardrobe. Something black. This girl only had bright colors and glitter and FRILLS._

Draco tugged on the hem of his short black mini skirt with one hand, his other resting protectively over his exposed navel.

His 6 inch heels made his signature strut a little difficult, but he managed to stumble to the back of the Hufflepuff table.

He maintained a very Malfoy-like sneer on his now delicate features as he looked at the others in his house. His sneer turned into a snarl as he realized the entire hall was watching him.

He decided to skip breakfast this morning.

"YOU!" He yelled towards one of the Hufflepuffs, "Where's our common room?"

"Err, are you even in Hufflepuff?" The girl asked carefully.

"Obviously. Who else would want to go to your stupid cheery dorms?"

"Well I've never seen you before, so-"

"I just look different" Draco interrupted "and I lost my memory."

"What did you used to look like, then?" She looked skeptical.

"Tall, blonde, pale skin, hot bod, dark and dangerous, icy grey eyes and a growing six pack." Draco sighed wistfully before snapping to his senses.

"I MEAN- AVERAGE, I LOOKED AVERAGE AND GIRL-LIKE! I WAS TOTALLY A GIRL." He clarified. "It's me, err, Emerald".

Blank looks.

"Ruby?" He tried again.

"QUARTSDIAMONDGOLDAMETHYST-"

"S-Sapphire?" She stuttered.

"Yeah, that one."

"Right. Umm, follow me." She said getting up and scurrying out of the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

Later that day Draco Malfoy, now clad in Sapphire's Hogwarts uniform, sat on a squishy yellow chair, writing furiously on a large piece of parchment with a look of pure loathing on his face.

The Hufflepuff common room was brightly lit, orange sunlight illuminating its already bright yellow walls, carpet and upholstery. A bird whistled through an open window and Draco could smell food wafting from the nearby kitchens.

He fought back tears.

How he longed for the eerie green glow of his dungeons. The musty stank and the chilly air. The look of repulsion and cunning on the faces of his peers.

But with this parchment he would change Hufflepuff forever. If he was going to be trapped here for the next two years then he knew he was going to have to turn down the cheer a little for him to stay sane.

He decided to use his newly found womanly charm for this.

Blowing gently on the wet ink, Draco surveyed his parchment. It had a magically imprinted painting of his new body dominating the center of the page. Long raven hair blowing gently in the breeze, one delicate foot was grinding a Ravenclaw boy to the dirt while he simultaneously strangled a 7th year Gryffindor with his own necktie. A Slytherin was looking on from the corner with pride and admiration.

Elegant script at the bottom of the page read:

_Tired of being known as a house of rejects and losers?_

_Toughen up with Sapphire_

_Tuesday at 7 pm in the Hufflepuff common room_

Normally Draco liked to manipulate people from the shadows, but with a case as tough as Hufflepuff's he had decided to take a more direct approach.

Also, he already missed the presence of Crabbe an Goyle, who had been not only his closest friends, but also very intimidating lackeys. He figured with a house as wimpy as Hufflepuff he could get a new posse to follow him in an instant, and this meeting was a perfect opportunity for that.

Draco magically duplicated the posters and hurried to post them around the castle.

Turning a corner he slammed into someone full force, both of them crashing into a heap on the ground.

"Bloody hell Longbottom, watch where you're going!" He snarled before collecting his fallen posters and storming off, leaving a stunned Neville laying on the ground.

Neville's POV

_Dear Journal,_

_She remembered me._

_Everyone said that Sapphire's memory was totally wiped away. But when I ran into her today, she used my last name without a second thought._

_Is it fate that I'm the only one who's name she could remember?_

_I probably don't stand a chance with her. She _is_ the most beautiful girl in the world._

_She left a flyer here though. I'm not a Hufflepuff, but maybe no one will notice if I show up…._


End file.
